Getting to the Narutoverse
by AkatsukiStalkers-RebelQueens
Summary: A story consisting of a group of friends trying to transport themselves to the Narutoverse by any means necessary. All of which have actually been attempted, and recorded as they happened. because we are the biggest, most hopeful idiots in the world who desperately want the Akatsuki.
1. Chapter 1

**Getting to the Narutoverse**

**A story consisting of a group of friends trying to transport themselves to the Narutoverse by any means necessary.**

**All of which have actually been attempted. **

Neko settled down at the head of the blanket-packed living room in a circle with the other girls and single boy. The brunette looked around at everyone. The Rebel Queen Business had been attended to, and they had just watched last Thursday's newest episode of Naruto Shippuden Subbed. Now for final business of the weekly gathering.

"_Operation: Getting to the Narutoverse, attempt number one: Cleverbot Speaks_, is a go!"

With that announcement, the leader's green eyes snapped to Savannah, sitting with her open laptop just in front of her. Across the circle, Zoey held the video camera, having been switched on just before the announcement. Recording what, hopefully, was successful.

Zoey shifter around, now crawling up behind savannah after pausing the video, then began recording again on the screen when the camera lens adjusted to the screen.

At the text box, the single ling blinked, awaiting the message it was to receive before sending onward to Cleverbot. Savannah's fingers moved like lightning over the keyboard, sending a message.

_Do you know who Akatsuki is?_

The reply was instant, typed up in dark blue letters just below Savannah's message.

**Yes.**

_Who are the Akatsuki?_

Everyone held their breath, watching the TV screen that the computer was hooked up to, hopeful.

**Criminal masterminds.**

There were a few grins.

_Sasori?_

There was a pause from clever.

**Kakuzu?**

_Hidan._

**Pain.**

_The Leader of Akatsuki?_

**Madara?**

Neko nodded, grinning. "Okay, let's reverse this. Resend that, now."

Savannah nodded.

_Madara?_

**Uchiha.**

_Uchiha?_

**Itachi.**

Everyone broke into grins. Neko nodded to herself. "Perfect, clever is centered to Akatsuki… ask a few other things before _the question_."

Savannah nodded vigorously.

_Who's better, Sasori or Deidara._

**I like Kisame best.**

Zoey cheered. Neko and Savannah pouted.

_Who is Deidara?_

**Deidara is Sasori's seme ;).**

Insane laughter followed. "I freaking love clever!" Alex cheered.

Neko, finishing up her laughter, looked to Savannah. "Ask it."

_Do you know how to bring Akatsuki to our world?_

**Yes.**

Squeals went up around the world… or just the room. "It said 'Yes'!" Sarrah squeaked.

Intently Savannah spazzed out the next line.

_Can you tell me how to bring Akatsuki to our world?_

**You want a synapses of the entirety of my knowledge?**

Savannah paused, and looked to Neko with a funny face. "Synapses?"

Neko waved her off, "yes, we do."

_* * *Bring me the Akatsuki.* * *_

**What do you think of the hotforwardslashpowerrangerattack?**

There was a silence. "DAMNIT WE LOST IT!" Savannah hissed out loud, and everyone moped.

"There is still hope!" Abby exclaimed, bowling over Alex and taking the laptop, typing quickly (though not nearly as fast as Savannah.)

_Take me to the Akatsuki!_

**I can't. Everyone but Madara and Zetsu are dead.**

_Then take us to Madara!_

**7133 **

"…what?" Abby blinked.

"Ah, screw it." Alex whined, taking the laptop.

_Cybersex?_

**Are you a woman?**

There was a suspicious pause from Alex, and a few laughs at clever.

_Yes, I am a female…_

**Yes!**

There was another spurt of laughter.

_I lied. I'm a man named Hidan._

**And I am a human named bob the builder.**

Loud laughter engulfed the room, and when it settled down, Neko tapped the ground. "Clearly _OGN: Cleverbot Speaks_ is a failure. Zoey, you can quit recording."

"Yosh, leader-chan!"

…

In a perfect world (from the *s)

…

_* * *Bring me the Akatsuki.* * *_

**Okay.**

Everyone gapped as the TV screen went blank, looking to Savannah. The red haired girl looked at them in equal shock, her own screen black as well.

Then the lights flickered out.

Followed by a short poof sound.

The screen flickered on, and Clever typed up a new message.

**Have fun.**

Just in the center of the circle, was a pile of men. Oh, and a single blue-haired female.

"IT WORKED!"

…

**Sadly we don't live in a perfect world…**

…

**Neko: anyway, we have an OGN every weekend, and we record them, so I decided to take all the recordings and do a dump on . **

**Abby: it WILL work, one day!**

**Neko: anyway, this is the recording from February 8, 2014. It's not actually our first, instead it our 12****th****. So wish us luck on getting Akatsuki! **

**Alex: all of Clever's responses were what Clever actually responded. Go ahead and give it a try, though at times you may have to re-send your previous message because clever's a slow learner.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Getting to the Narutoverse**

**/just realized that chapter 1's word count was 666 wow seriously the perfection is valid/**

**A story consisting of a group of friends trying to transport themselves to the Narutoverse by any means necessary.**

**All of which have actually been attempted. **

**February 1, 2014**

The circle of girls plus one male gathered around the circle of water, leaning over its edge.

For once, Neko had demanded the meeting be postponed until _after_ one of these ridiculous attempts. This one had been proposed by Jaylen, and Neko thought it was very original.

"OKAY!" the leader said, punching the air. "Zoey! Alex! Savannah! Begin _Operation Getting to the Narutoverse: The Moon Pool_!"

Neko and her three named followers, clad in their swimsuits, flew into the water. Splashes sloshed in all direction, and Rose- who did not like water in the least- jolted backward from it. Said red haired girl turned her mint colored eyes to the sky. "I know Leader-sama likes the Warrior Series (by Erin Hunter! READ IT BITCHES!), and it's night, but… really?"

Abby giggled. "Neko-sama's a book nerd."

Hannah leaned over the pool edge, on her hands and knees, watching as the four girls swam in circles around the perfect circle of water in Abby's backyard. "Er… Abby, you're sure your parents are okay with this…?"

Abby nodded wildly, "Yup! Mother and Father never use the pool; I had to clean it for us yesterday anyway!"

Alex, panting a little from swimming so fast, called out, "my twin _might_ have lied about what exactly we are doing!"

Abby giggled, but didn't deny nor confirm.

Hannah prodded her fingers into the water a while later. "You guys have a good whirl pool going already."

Zoey nodded. "Not much longer now…!" she mewed. "If this thing summons _any_ Akatsuki, it'll be Kisame!"

When it had been about a good hour of the four swimming, and the whirl pool was strong enough to carry them off their feet rather quickly in the circle, Neko bobbed over the water. "Hannah, pour in the _stuff_."

Hannah blinked, sighing. "I hope this works."

Alex grunted tiredly. "That stuff was _expensive_, you know!"

Savannah snorted, "You're rich. Fuck off."

This is about the time we should correct ourselves. The water in the pool… isn't water. Actually, it is sake.

"You haven't swallowed any of this stuff, right?" Jaylen called as he helped haul Alex's tired form out of the water, letting her flop on her back.

Savannah, being dragged out by Sarrah, giggled a little wildly. "Only a _little bit_, Jay! I couldn't help it! Who swims in a pool of sake and doesn't drink it?" Sarrah giggled at her, patting the red haired techno master on the head.

Neko, who had been dragged out by Brendy and Abby, grumbled. "Jashin, Savannah. If this did work, you definitely don't want to be _drunk_ when you meet Sasori."

Savannah laughed, "Sorry, Leader-chan!"

Hannah, meanwhile, was pouring a foul looking mixture into the pool of alcohol. Ground shark teeth, mashed fly traps, a shredded wooden puppet, melted-down clay, raven and crow feathers, folded origami flowers, a few heavy piercings, cut up stitch threads, melted orange lollipops, and- lastly, a fair amount (a pint or so) of Alex's blood.

Hannah made a foul face. "This is so gross."

Alex, woozy, gave her a glare. "No, really? I couldn't figure out what else but blood to summon Hidan and had to get it pulled out of me! Later that same day, I swim quite a lot- if this _does_ work, I'm going to meet Hidan woozy as hell."

Zoey winced, "Kisame's ground shark teeth were hard to find, too, you know."

Jaylen laughed, "All I had to do was make some origami."

Neko shook out her head. "Rose! The plushies!"

Rose produced a box, handing it to Neko. It consisted of miscellaneous Akatsuki plushies.

Neko swallowed. "This is so gross. But I'll do it for a chance to meet Akatsuki." She muttered. Taking them all, with difficulty, into her arms, Neko ran as fast as she could muster at the pool.

Closing her mouth and holding her breath, hoping not to drown in the world's grossest batch of sake. With that thought in mind, she splashed into the center of the whirl pool, chanting in her head repeatedly, _come forth, Akatsuki! ***_

…

*** The girl surfaced, dropping the plushies in the water, and looked around. She panted, swimming wildly to keep her head out of the water.

Everything was silent as the muck in the pool's current swirled, steadily dying.

"…it didn't work." Abby whined.

Neko screeched angrily. "Get me the fuck out of this water!" she pushed her way to the sides, avoiding gross things and plushies, and Sarrah helped pull her out.

Neko pouted. "You fucks clean this up; this was the dumbest idea EVER."

*** In a perfect world ***

_Come forth, Akatsuki! _

…

Neko's head burst the surface of the water in time to hear gasps and astonished shouts. The brunette shook out her hair, looking around as the sake-pool bled a dark black color and one by one, the plushies were sucked down under the surface.

"Holy fuck get me out!" Neko gasped, swimming as fast as she pushed blindly through the black water suddenly clean of the 'sacrificial' muck.

Sarrah and Hannah heaved her out, leaving the cat panting as she turned to stare at the water.

That's when several heads burst the surface where each plushy had vanished, and the water faded into clean sake again.

Silence lasted a second.

The ever intelligent drunk that was Savannah screamed in utter joy, "Dibbs on swimming in the alcohol pool with Sasori!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Getting to the Narutoverse**

**A story consisting of a group of friends trying to transport themselves to the Narutoverse by any means necessary.**

**All of which have actually been attempted. **

**February 15, 2014**

Sarrah turned on the video camera, leaving it on the tripod, before quickly moving to stand in the line with the others.

Everyone, including Sarrah, held a cat in their arms.

The brunette leader, Neko, stepped forward from where she stood in the center of the line. "Introducing _Operation GN: Felis Catus_." She said aloud. "This week we tried what it says in fan fictions! Akatsuki Cats!"

Neko held in her arms a bright yellow cat with deep blue eyes. Hopefully Deidara. "I found my cat in Japan while on a trip, out behind an arts-and-crafts store, sitting on a box of clay. Swearing that that is a huge coincidence if this isn't Deidara as a cat, I decided this operation. Each member of the group has gone out and found a cat version of their favorite Akatsuki character!"

The first in the line, Sarrah, whom had just joined it, stepped forward. She held up a fussing, wriggling cat, a dark brown-black tabby. "Kakuzu, hopefully, who I got over the internet."

Brendy stepped forward as Sarrah went back a pace. "Tobi!" she proclaimed, holding up a younger feline who was pitch black with gingery-orange patches. "I've seen him around the neighborhood and had named him Biscuit before now!"

Zoey held up a grey cat with amber eyes, very large in size. "His name is Scale, he's a Russian Blue, and I'm hopping he's Kisame. I got him from an ad at a store in Tampa."

Alex pointer to the white cat who looked a bit scrawny, his eyes a red-lilac mixture. "This is Fun, he's an Albino, and he belongs to Abby's step-cousin. I hope he's Hidan."

Kate, the little kid, held up a tiny kitten whom was dark red with miss-matched blue and yellow eyes. "I don't know who this is, but they're pretty!" the child exclaimed, making the kitten mew, and the group chuckle.

Jaylen, next, held up a cat. "I beg for this cat to be Konan. She's a Russian blue and is a litter-mate of Scale, her name is Breeze." He said, smiling widely at a grey-blue cat with amber eyes, just like Zoey's cat, though with a much slimmer build, and her eyes were more orange-ish.

Abby then held up a bright orange cat with turquoise blue-green eyes, who was kicking madly at the sudden height Abby held him. "This is Desert, and I hope he's Pein! I found him as a stray while going to the animal shelter! It must have been fate! This WILL be Pein-kun!"

Savannah raised a brow at her own feline. "Well… this is Blood. I got him at a shelter near my house." A red, orange-tinted cat was held in her arms, black paws and black tail stripes. "He could be Sasori…" she poked his cheek and the bored cat slowly blinked dark copper eyes.

Rose held her cat toward the camera, and it squirmed. "This is Ebony. He's from my brother's street. I want him to be Itachi Uchiha." The cat was pure black, with stunning dark blue eyes.

Lastly Hannah held up her own cat. A stunning, amazing cat whose face was so evenly divided in black on its right and ginger on the left, both eyes pale amber, and the rest of its body patterned with black, white, and orange patches. "…clearly I want this to be Zetsu. He's a pet of a friend of ours, Screecher, and his name is Key. He has a sister who's right face is half ginger and left face is half black, her name is Lock."

Each person held their cats, and an open bottle of water. By now most of the cats were squirming after being held for so long.

Neko smiled down at her feline. "Well, Butter, I hope you turn out to be Deidara." She chuckled. "RQ, transform your cats."

***Everyone promptly squatted, placed their cats on the ground, and pouted out the water on the.***

Rapid hisses and shocked meows split into the air, and countless felines escaped and scrambled through multiple doorways, off to go his in the recesses of Hannah's house.

Amusingly enough, the only one who remained was the to-be-Kisame cat, Scale, who just rolled over. Zoey giggled and rubbed his belly as the others waited, and Hannah looked at her watch.

…

"There, it's been a whole minute." The green haired girl announced. "lets go check all the cats.

…

Everyone returned to the room with tired faces, carrying wet cats. "Operation was a failure." Neko sighed, just as Sarrah turned off the camera.

…

***in a perfect world***

…

***Everyone promptly squatted, placed their cats on the ground, and poured out the water on the.***

A few heartbeats passed after a few hisses of irritation.

At exactly a 5-second mark, as counted by Hannah on her watch aloud, loud _pop_s and clouds of smoke filled the air.

"Oh my god." A whisper game from Alex.

"You mean Jashin, you bitch."

Neko let out an excited squeal, "SUCCESS!"


End file.
